The Last Witch
by Appletank
Summary: The kyubeys say they can grant any wish. They don't say that Magical Girls turn into witches when they run out of magic. What if someone decides to wish to become a sane witch?
1. 1) The Last Witch

I am the last witch. The goddess of hope has stopped all of them from being born. Except me. I understood why. My "birth" was highly unusual. Oh, I went through a rather standard start. Met some other Puella Magis in the area, saw the Kyubey. For some reason, however, I didn't see the witches as something completely different. All I saw was a source of power. I was naive then, and thought that the witches had unlimited power. On the other hand, the Girls needed to kill witches in order to recharge. By that logic, I believed that if I could be a witch, but not go crazy, maybe I can help out in a different way.

Of course, this was all before I knew what those aliens were using us for.

So that was my wish. I wished to retain my faculties and become a witch, and completely skipped the whole despair, running out of magic, etc. phase. There wasn't a flashy effect. No Soul Gem was created immediately, though there was a brief poof of darkness. I recall the Kyubey leaving without a word. I think it was pissed.

In the beginning, I was a bit pissed too. All the other girls got a battle uniform and a weapon. I got a brief cloud of smoke and a tingly feeling. I heard that you get tingly feelings from passing by large amounts of radiation. Maybe the cloud was somewhat radioactive.

I apologized to my friends, and went back to my life. I wasn't a clumsy person, so any changes were unnoticed by me. A few weeks later, I got a paper cut. There was ... some sort of bodily fluid, but it sure as heck wasn't blood.

No, I'm not emo, but I got a knife and cut myself. No, it wasn't my wrist. I just cut my finger again. It was like I was filled with that smoky material for the beginning. I thought I got some cool gas summoning abilities, and tried to make it do ... something. There weren't manuals for these things, you know. Instead, I summoned something else. A piece of metal, some sort of egg cradle, fell out. It was what would have been my Soul Gem. There was no glass, no inner light. In fact, it looked half formed, with little wisps of smog dribbling out like some dirty dry ice.

Later on, I figured out what these things were, and what the aliens were using them for. It was supposed to have become a Soul Gem, then create a large amount of energy when it gets converted into a Grief Seed.

But me? It became a Grief Seed without the whole energy overload thing. Before I knew that, I was just overcome with a desire to experiment. This was going to be interesting, a witch fighting other witches.

I casually looked for my friends again, though this time I realized I had to be extremely cautious. More smoke seemed to be bubbling out of my Grief Seed. I believe it was an indicator that I was slowly gaining in power, and it just might be enough to make them think I was a witch. I never told them what my wish was right away from the beginning; probably would've been interesting to see their faces and avoid this round of deception in the first place.

I went with them to where another witch was located, to make them think that the witch aura they felt was the other one. Regrettably, it appeared that they had already lost one member to the claws of another witch, and were a bit antsy when talked about these things. I asked them how they summoned their weapons, since I was a "non-magical" person apparently, and managed to get some answer before they shooed me away.

It didn't really make sense; all I got that it was slightly different for each individual. I decided to try out cutting myself and letting that smoke billow out again, this time with my Grief Seed already outside. Instead, a pillar of energy blasted out of the metal egg cradle. After its stopped shooting smog like a fire hose, it cleared away to show a 1.5 meter long scalpel. I admit, I squee'd when I saw it. It was pretty badass, in my opinion. The not-badass part? The hand holding it became skeletal, numb, and weakened. The thing felt heavier than it should be by thirty kilograms, and my fingers became stiff, like they were dipped in ice water. Plus, it appeared to be slowly spreading. I threw it away from me once I realized it, and it dispelled.

This was when I found out that even witches need to get energy. It just that they had less morals to obstruct them from getting it. Its an interesting food chain. Witches gain energy from the despair from others. Some create familiars, who also might gather enough of their own energy to grow their own Grief Seed and be considered a full fledged witch. The Puella Magis who fight them replenish their own energy levels from killing the witches and consuming the energy in the Grief Seeds. Really, they are still eating from the same food source. And now that I skipped the whole Soul Gem process.

It took a bit to get used to. I didn't really want to hurt others for energy. I managed to get around it for a while, lurking beside hospitals and moody teenage gangs. It was enough to restore my hands skin color, though just in case, I've taken to wearing a full body black cloak, elbow length grey gloves, loose jeans, and boots. I sometimes carry a face mask that covers my lower face, just in case. Once I got enough energy, I went around and killed a few witches and familiars. Its not easy when you have a limited supply of magic to use, you know. Most of the time, I've managed to ambush them. I have a drastically different aura compared to their normal targets. Its sometimes funny to see some girls run up to a barrier and see the witch already defeated, a half-used Grief Seed left on its metaphorical door step.

Over time, I managed to master my new abilities, and discover a few new ones. My skills apparently lies in illusions, necromancy, and familiar summoning. The last two are sometimes interchangeable. When you think about it, its pretty much the default ability set all witches have. The difference is that I have a brain that can utilize them far better than they ever could. The oversized scalpel probably was what my weapon would be if I actually became a Puella Magi if my wish didn't completely screw with the process.

It was somewhat more comforting that I could go around without having to worry about my Soul Gem being corrupted, though I still had to deal with my skin becoming transparent at times. Hospitals, especially the sections where the victim had either no hope or was currently in the pit of despair helped a lot. Some of them were already going to die within the hour anyways. Sometimes, I shed the let the skin on my face temporarily recede and played Reaper. Had to work on being cold and heartless, though. I gave up on that when the people are about to take their final breath.

I still did so for those about to be on Death Row, though. Its pretty satisfying.

This arrangement lasted for nearly a decade. I altered my appearance ever so slightly to portray aging, and graduated high school without sacrificing too much of my grades. I was still pretending to be normal, you know. I nearly would've finished college too, if _she_ didn't make a certain wish. I don't know how many times she did it, but when I got to the other side of the time loop, I was the only one left.

The Goddess of Hope went through time, and stopped every single Puella Magi from ever becoming a witch. Except me. I never was a Puella Magi. Barely any energy marked the time when I transformed. There wasn't anything she could do to me that wouldn't involve killing me either. I felt her passing by, but she never stopped for me.

At first, I wondered: why? How could I have continued to exist in a world that ostensibly shouldn't have witches? The next day, when I went back to my room, I saw her. Or actually, I saw me. The me from the timeline the Goddess created. Here, I never made that wish. The wraiths are freaking ugly, besides. I then realized what happened. I was a paradox, existing from a time that was all but destroyed.

So I ran. Staying would create too many questions, and I dared not to stay near the one Puella Magi left in the world who knew what a witch's aura felt like. I still had my housekey, strangely. I destroyed it once I was done with it. I took a few personal items, stuffed them into a suitcase, and ran for the coast. I killed a few wraiths along the way, though I eventually gave up on actively pursuing them since the energy efficiency rate was so bad.

Once I reached the coast, I summoned a large whale familiar, hopped into its mouth, and set off through the ocean. I opened my phone. I stole this along the way, since I smashed my old phone into pieces. I used a bit of my magic to force a connection with the satellites above. I reassured myself that magic based internet connections probably didn't have IP addresses.

With my fears calmed, I scrutinized a world map. The Bermuda seems to be an interesting place to camp out.


	2. 2) The Last Puella Magi

Well, this was a bad idea. I had thought I would be able to lay low for a little while, and then, I don't know, go explore the world. As it turns out, I forgot that my primary food source was gone, and the only other way for me to retrieve energy would be too...I rather not go down that line. My supplies quickly dwindled down within six months. I walked from place to place, afraid of expending even a little energy to summon a faster moving familiar.

I let out a rattling cough as I gazed at the shadows of a nuclear power plant, leaning on a worn staff. I felt a few pellets of uranium jangle from the spot inside a lead lined bag hanging from my rib cage. They shouldn't notice, 20 grains out of the massive amounts they store inside.

As you might remember, I don't look very good without energy in me. I wiped a tiny bit of spittle off my mouth with a bony hand.

After I felt my breaths settle, I turned around and set off looking for another power source to steal from.

And then I felt a presence. It wasn't human, but wasn't truly a magical girl either. She felt ... like me. I whirled around, thrusting the staff end behind me and pulling out a handgun from its holster on my pelvic bone. A shudder went through the staff as the blade of my scalpel sprouted out of its end. "Who. Are. You," I snarled, radioactive fire burning within my sunken eye sockets.

To my surprise, I saw nothing at the end of my blade. Then, a head of blue hair stepped out from underneath my scalpel. She had bent her back just in time to avoid the blade, with space to spare. This girl had a small blue cape, and a cutlass on her hip.

_Click clack_

A familiar, a skeleton wearing military fatigues, held an AK-74 to her head, standing behind her right shoulder. Another skeleton, this time wearing a flak suit, stood to her left shoulder, wielding a M37 Grenade Launcher.

Through all this, she changed neither her stance, nor her sad tinted smile.

After a moment, she spoke. "We ... are sorry for your troubles." She bowed in the limited space. My jaw hung loosely by several tiny rubber bands. "Before I say anything else, I would like to offer this in compensation." She reached into her cape and produced a small cheese cake.

I gave her an incredulous look, and swept back my cloak. My bones were showing, as in, there weren't any skin or organs there. A few bands of steel wrapped around my ribs, and rubber bands and springs dotted my joints. A bag of radioactive material hung from my collarbone as I leeched minute amounts of radiation to keep me moving. The only bone with skin left was on my face, though the heavy bags and pallor didn't prove that fact readily. "Recently, anything I eat has a tendency to fall though my ribcage."

She kept on giving that cheerful smile, never once wavering. "Trust me," she said.

I still wasn't completely sure, but I had a feeling that if she could find me and knew who I was, I probably wouldn't be able to fight her off anyways. She seemed dead set on feeding me that cheese cake. I waved over the familiar with the grenade launcher and told her to eat it. A slight widening of her eyes was the only thing that told me this probably wasn't in the plan, but the cake was gone from her grasp by the time that thought sunk in.

A burst of light shown from inside the familiar. Skin wrapped around her body as black smoke fountained out from within. The familiar - no - newly born witch looked down at herself and blinked. "Huh," she muttered. She swung the stock into the other familiar's skull, blowing the familiar apart. She turned and stepped towards me, grabbed my stunned self, and kissed me.

I froze in shock, which allowed her to easily transfer all of her newly gained energy into me. She gave a smirk as she dissipated, winking once. I looked down at my body, and like earlier, my body was reborn. Skin wrapped around my dry bones, and black smoke swirled through the gapes.

The blue haired girl had a cutlass out, somewhat surprised at the turn of events. I raised an eyebrow. She said, "I ... wasn't expecting your familiar to eat it, and yet be so well behaved...!" She covered her mouth, blushing slightly, the first time she seemed to display any emotion.

I snorted. "I treat them well." I looked down again. "For this...thank you. I probably wouldn't have lasted another month."

The girl stowed her sword, composing herself. "In that case, you will be happy to know that your boost will allow a year of continuous combat, and will regenerate quickly over time.."

My eyes widened. "Sweet. Well, if that's it, I'll be going now."

"Wait!" she shouted. Her hands reached out towards me, her eyes worried. "I ... admit I have an ulterior reason for this visit. My companions and I are going to save a friend from the Incubators, or at least try. We don't know how powerful she may become, and what the Incubators might do. We might ... fail." She wrung her hands together, stepping from one foot to another. "I would really like to request your help as a wildcard, something not natural to this world, no offense."

I raised an eyebrow. "That sounds insanely dangerous. If you haven't noticed, I don't have much in the way of offensive power. I am not going to risk my life with such paltry armaments."

"I can blackmail you," she said flatly. The slight twitches from her eyes betrayed her feelings on that idea. "I can cut your connection to the energy, and even if I don't, I don't know what will happen if Madoka gets taken down somehow."

This froze me. I wasn't sure how much that was true, or whether she believed it was true.

"Please," she begged. "There has to be something. You are the most unique of the last witches."

I groaned. "Fine. If you can keep yourself alive, I might be able to nudge things in your favor. I'm still not going anywhere close to the front lines. I'll do things my way. If all goes well, you won't even notice that I'm there."

"Do we have an agreement?"

*Sigh* "Yes."

* * *

_Three years later_

Up deep in the mountains, there was a small temple. This temple had a several rooms, each dedicated to a different deity. One particular room was set off to the side, and from all the dust that had accumulated inside, practically never used. For good reason. The "deity" advertised doesn't actually exist. Inside was just a collection of three statues. On the left was an angel, her wings spread and her face covered, as if in tears. On the right was a wildly grinning old man in rags, holding a stone pocket watch. His eyes were hidden by a moth-eaten top hat.

In between them was a full sized painting of an open coffin, a skeleton dressed in a black cloak inside it. A staff was held in between its hands.

When the clock struck noon, a thud shuddered through the mad hatter's body. The clock in his hand snapped and fell to the ground.

A moment later, the angel was off the pedestal and standing in front of the painting. Its hand flickered down, like it was being displayed by a jittery projector. The hand reached towards the painting and paused on the staff. After a brief pause, the hand pushed through and grabbed the staff and began slowly pulling the skeleton out.

The angel lifted the entire skeleton out and set it on the floor. Black clouds rushed out of the old man statue's mouth and into the cloaked skeleton's.

When the smoke dissipated, a pale faced girl stood, her face partially hidden by her hood. The top end of the staff was replaced with a dark gray umbrella.

I opened my eyes, and noted the lack of any visitors, nor a note. "Hmm. Something didn't go as planned." The statues behind me crumbled to dust as I walked towards the entrance. When I exited, there still remained a dark shadow, interspersed with psychedelic lights. My barrier. The shrine I hid in vanished when I left it. I sniffed the air. "Smells different. Something has changed."

I walked silently to the entrance, unfolding a map out of a pocket.

* * *

I sat on top of Mitakihara Junior High early in the morning, and watched the students file in. I narrowed my eyes at girl with long, black hair, tied in pigtails. I spotted a tiny flash of purple inside her hair. I carefully crept back from the edge, crouching underneath my umbrella, my barrier. As the bell rung for class, I realized something. A similar, but much stronger aura was eclipsing my own. Hers.

I cloaked myself and snuck my way inside. I waited for a few hours, then caught her leading a girl with pink hair nervously following her. Suddenly, the pink one paused and looked off into the distance. I gasped and stepped behind a hallway, despite being invisible. A burst of power like I've never felt before washed over me, leaving me trembling in fear. Then that same, cold breeze washed over everything, and pushed me to my knees. My barrier flickered. I hurriedly collapsed it and pushed it into a wall, so I could shrink the area exposed to the energy wave.

I peeked out of the corner after they were gone, though the magic field still remained. I carefully stepped out and let out a small spark of energy. It was quickly absorbed by the field.

I smirked, and sent out a smoke cloud from my hand. That too dissipated quickly.

I stowed the umbrella and spun it around. With a harsh scraping sound, the scalpel slid out of the handle. My body shot black smoke out from inside my cloak, burning away the skin and leaving an eternally grinning skull. The smoke curved downwards like there was a hidden magnet underneath me, preventing any of it from leaking anywhere.

"_Perfect_"

* * *

A black haired college student stuck her hand into her pocket and fished out her keys. She found a text message on her phone, telling her she had a package delivered to her room. _I wonder..._

She unlocked the door and stepped into her dimly lit dorm. Before she could close the door herself, it slammed shut. A moment afterwards, the blinds were shut, and any small light source was turned off.

She stumbled around for the lights, fear gripping her heart. For about two seconds. After, a rough force grabbed her by her neck and shoved her against the wall. She grabbed madly at the hand, but it proved to be as hard as stone. Nothing happened for a few seconds, besides an uncomfortable feeling of smoke blowing against her face. Over time, though, her vision adjusted enough to see the weak glow emitted by a skull in front of her. My skull.

The smoke weakened slightly, allowing skin to reform over my face. I reveled at how she reacted to looking at a mirror, though I will admit I took less care of my hair, besides the occasional trimming with a six inch blade as wide as my foot.

I gave a toothy grin. "I've waited for months, angry that you have taken my life. Finally, that jumper won't be able to see this." I stabbed my fingers into her spine, paralyzing and numbing her. I sliced the blade down her chest, glowing light trailing the cut. I pushed the edges open and pulled her skeleton out, organs and all, and handed it to my familiar. She held the trembling skeleton and pushed it into her chest, the "skin" folding around her like putty.

I draped the skin over me like a wetsuit, and sealed it. "Juuuust right," I said, stretching my limbs. I summoned my soul gem, or what the broken thing was, and smiled at the billowing waves of smoke. A crackling noise caught my attention. On closer inspection, tiny strands criss crossed over it, forming a small ball. Like a nebula, a light shone from within the billowing clouds.

* * *

I was stuck in a dilemma. I had my old life back. That jumper wasn't going to pay attention to me anytime soon, and I was too far away from her object of interest anyways.

I had a contract to end this seemingly perfect scenario. I didn't really have any obligation to, since I didn't owe her anything, though I could get a favor out of this. But, the one I made a contract with has lost her memories. The jumper seemed to have a hand in this, so she wouldn't be able to blackmail me even if she wanted to.

But how long could this last. Goddesses don't like being chained down. If...no, when they wake up, I would be in a hell lot of trouble.

I did tell them to stay alive, and that I wouldn't be able to fight on the front lines. That required me to avoid any type of attention from the jumper forever. I wasn't sure whether secretly going around and restoring memories would draw that attention, and whether they would attack me for it. It really did look like a perfect world.

I rested a parasol on my shoulder that cast me into darkness and scrutinized the dazed looking pseudo witch wandering the streets.

What to do... what to do indeed.


End file.
